Erksplunch and garden design

Doctor Socks was furious. He had been left out of Hildegard’s garden party and he had been plucked out of the air to join one of Mr Glue’s idiotic stories at the point when he was about to embark on a mission of retaliation.

Then, just when the day was finally going right and he had stolen Sagittarius’s arrows, he had somehow been knocked off course and was now languishing in an orange pond, being peered at by a great, green blob. The blob was looking very unhappy.

‘The thing is, darling,’ said the huge, green blob, ‘I’m extremely sensitive to colour, you know. The best garden designer in the galaxy created this water feature and the fact is, with that outfit, you are simply destroying the aesthetic.’

He stood and glared at the Doctor.

The Doctor struggled to his feet, waded to the water’s edge and looked up crossly at the creature.

Thank you, darling!’ said the monstrous, green blob in his tinkling, sing-song voice. (The voice and the appearance really, really don’t go together, thought Doctor Socks.)

‘I’m not your darling, and I don’t know what I’m doing here, and I haven’t the foggiest idea who you might be -’

Erksplunch interrupted delightedly.

‘Oh do let me tell you all about me! It’s fascinating. Come along, I won’t take no for an answer!’

And so saying, he grabbed the unfortunate Doctor and frogmarched him over to the (extremely decorative) veranda, where he rang for afternoon tea.




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